Nancy Allen Vaughn

VAUGHN, Nancy Allen, formerly of Riverside, CT and Rockport, ME, died in Essex, CT on October 12, 2025, surrounded by family. She was 91 years old.

Throughout her life, Nancy was defined by her warmth, her generosity, and her wide and constant smile. She collected and nurtured close friendships by the dozens and was happiest when she could be part of a community in service to others. She could laugh at herself as readily as with others, and she never missed an opportunity to help a friend in need. She had a mischievous sense of fun and humor. She adored her grandchildren and took enormous pride in their accomplishments and character.

Nancy was a mother to three, "Grancy" to her six grandchildren, and a surrogate mother to many more, including her 18 nieces and nephews. She was a confidant, companion, and epicenter of fun for a legion of friends, many of whom she kept close for her entire life. She was an exceedingly generous person, with her time, her talents, her treasure, and, periodically, her opinions. She had a positive and optimistic spirit, loved to laugh, and did so with abandon.

Nancy was born on September 22, 1934, in New Haven, CT, the oldest of four children of Philip Kirkham and Elizabeth Warner Allen. She and her three siblings (Wendy, Martha, and P.K.) were raised on the Phillips Academy campus in Andover, MA where her father served as teacher, coach, advisor, and eventually Chair of the Board of Trustees. (He would later serve as state senator, town selectman, and in various political positions locally, statewide, and in Washington DC.) Her mother was a homemaker and exceptional amateur athlete.

After graduating from Miss Porter's School and Briarcliff Junior College, Nancy moved to Washington D.C. to teach kindergarten at the Potomac School and join her parents and brother who had moved to Georgetown while their father served as an advisor to Senator Leverett Saltonstall.

While in Georgetown she met James Warren Vaughn of Staten Island, NY on a blind date, and the two were married in Andover, MA on June 11, 1960. They moved to Brooklyn, NY where daughter Elizabeth (Betsy) was born in 1961. Shortly afterward they moved to Riverside, CT, and Betsy was joined by twin brothers Peter and David in 1963.

In Riverside they settled into a wonderful life full of family, friends, travel, sports, and community involvement. She was an Olympic-caliber mom, never missing a single one of her children's plays, concerts, sporting events, or opportunities to carpool. Somehow amidst all the driving, cooking, shopping, sports, plays and playdates she found time to regularly play tennis and bridge at the Riverside Yacht Club, volunteer for St. Paul's Church and Greenwich Country Day School, read mystery and romance novels voraciously, and take an hour daily speed-walk through town with friends. Their house on Club Road was always a beehive of activity, bursting with family, friends, neighborhood children, giant family thanksgivings, and free-flowing cocktail parties.

Thanks to Jim's job at Pan Am, the entire family was afforded the opportunity to travel extensively, and in 1978 they moved to London, England for 18 months. It was a highlight for everyone, and Nancy particularly enjoyed exploring the city, collecting still more lifelong friends, and traveling as a family throughout Great Britain and Europe.

When they returned to Riverside in 1980 and she suddenly found herself with an empty nest, Nancy took a shared job as assistant to the head of the Middle School at Greenwich Academy, a position she held and cherished for over 15 years. It was the perfect job for her; caring for children, supporting families, sharing with colleagues, and multi-tasking at the center of it all.

In retirement, Nancy and Jim continued to travel, ski, explore, volunteer, and spend time with friends in the mountains of the Adirondacks, the hills of Vermont, and especially along the coast of Maine, where a "Riverside Mafia" had collected in Rockport for what she enthusiastically referred to as "summer camp." These were her happy places.

Not even a diagnosis of ALS in 2009 could slow her down, as her passion for life and stubborn resolve were no match for Lou Gehrig and his disease. She was the Iron Lady to his Iron Horse, and thrived in their new home at Essex Meadows in Essex, CT for over 16 years with a steely disregard for her illness. Her mind grew even sharper as her body slowly lost dexterity. "It is was it is" was her consistent refrain.

Nancy lived for her connection with others, and when the ability to speak and communicate finally deserted her, she reluctantly released her vice-grip on life and died a short time later. She left as she had lived; with a gargantuan heart, an iron will, and a determination to dictate her own fate. She has crafted a singular legacy and example for her children and grandchildren to continue.

Nancy is survived by Jim, her devoted husband of 65 years, her adored and adoring children Betsy, Peter, and David, their spouses Rusty Hlavacek, Mary Anne Vaughn, and Janice Vaughn, along with grandchildren Caroline Hlavacek Perry, her husband Justin Perry, Katie Hlavacek, Olivia and Maggie Vaughn, and Gus and Sadie Vaughn. She is also survived by her cherished brother P.K., his wife Phoebe (Rhodes) Allen, and her sister-in-law Jane Love.

A memorial service at St. Paul's Church in Riverside, CT will be planned for a later date. In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to Compassionate Care ALS, Box 1052, West Falmouth MA 02574: www.ccals.org

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